Ralph Anthony Zulferino - Online Memorial Website

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16, NIV "But your dead will live; their bodies will rise." You who dwell in the dust, wake up and shout for joy." Isaiah 26:19, NIV "I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death." Hosea 13:14, NIV "For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive." I Corinthians 15:21-22, NIV


This memorial website was created to remember our dearest Ralph Anthony Zulferino who was born in United States Brooklyn, New York on March 11, 1959 and passed away on June 8, 2007. You will live forever in our memories and hearts.

In loving memory of a man, my cousin, Ralph, not the man I knew completely but a spirit that amazed me, left me breathless as I watched its courage in the face of darkness through an unexpected, untimely battle with cancer… ...a spirit that as his flesh was dying came to know the Lord and came to know where it would spend eternity … a spirit that gave back a gift to me as I tried to share with Ralph the peace I had found through my battle. And much to my surprise while I prayed with Ralph and for Ralph’s physical healing he gained so much more... While his flesh was fading a spirit grew. It lept with faith, with hope with a passion to try to cling to this life as we knew it a life we loved and wanted to go on. But as this flesh could no longer find ways to sustain itself or find ways to hold on ….a spirit grew bigger... ... grew bigger with a truth of knowing its Creator yet struggling with the flesh as we all do... ...struggling with the need to go in this life as he knew it … ...struggling with the need to go on being a husband, a dad, a daddy, a brother, a son, an uncle, a nephew, a cousin a friend. In the flesh, he felt his body had failed him. He often told me the worst part about having "this" as he would say is that my wife and kids have to see me suffer. He wasn't concerned about the suffering he was enduring but for others. "I'm not afraid to die," he would say bravely almost without much emotion. I'm sure he was afraid and nobody wants to die in this life. But his spirit was sustained in a place that had a hope for salvation. He once gave me a book to read about the Holy Spirit...it didn't speak much of physical healing but mostly focused on salvation...he always recognized the peace he received through Christ. I once saw him encourage another man who was gravely ill and I'm sure there were many others he encouraged. Ralph hoped for physical healing but he also knew the gravity of his illness. He remained positive and showed us a good face, his almost constant sense of humor, and a will to live that never seemed to give up. But when we all knew the fight was ending, physically and mentally there was a hope ...a hope for the peace he would find with his Creator. He would never say the word that identified his illness. He refused to identify with it. It was not who he was. As his pain became increasingly unbarable at the end it was the spirit that mattered and impressed us all and that spirit knew it was going away… ...away to a place where there is no sickness, no suffering, no mourning. Ralph knew of this place intimately because he fed his spirit daily. His spirit had been open to receive the Word of God and the person in the flesh knew his spirit mattered more… Ralph read the Word of God each morning in the bible, heard about as it was preached from the pulpit, listened to as it was preached on tv, learned about it as he was encouraged by others …asked questions when he didn't understand the answers...beat himself up when his faith wavered...but continued on much to our surprise. As his spirit grew in the Word he would say things that the world couldn't understand...Cousin, Lor he would say, "It's all about the Word." And yes, the flesh wanted nothing more than to be physically healed. After all, that was the prime motivation for drawing near to the Word. But God has a greater plan for all of us and it is not for us to question how or why but it is all of our duty to read His Word to come to a place that Ralph understood...the place that through God's grace we can arrive...Ralph would want us all to know that it wasn't just promised to him but to all those who believed that Christ died so that all of our spirits would live on in eternity in paradise. We cannot lean on our own understanding as to why some struggle in the flesh as Ralph did but I understood the undescribable peace that Ralph found in the midst of the storm having struggled in the flesh in a similar way, for a much shorter time. …And could we all be so confident in our lives that we think this need to find God only comes to those that suffer? Suffering comes to all at some point in our lives...it is a guarantee. Jesus told us in the bible, "In this life you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John-16:33)" Jesus also spoke about how the word which is the "seed" would fall on good ground as well as rocky ground ...some would accept it and some would not be rooted and grounded enough in the word so the word would be heard and forgotten. It doesn't matter how long we live in this life but what matters most is the wisdom we get while we are in this world. I'm glad RALPH GOT IT. He chose to get the right wisdom. Ralph's passing was too soon for us but he got the prize which we are not all guaranteed to get just by being good on this earth. We have to make a choice. It is hard to find comfort in our everyday lives especially for his wife and children and family that live everyday without the man, who they knew and loved. We will miss many things about him...his love for life and adventure, his sense of humor, his wit and generosity. But as time goes on we understand the importance not of the life left behind but the importance of what lives on. We have to recognize how Ralph was transformed and became a new creation in Christ or his death would be in vain. I only speak this way not because I spent so much time with Ralph...I didn't. But because I saw a deeper side that I never would have seen had he not been transformed by his illness. He use to say to me, "Cousin Lor, can you believe this is happening to us?" But as I watched I knew God was transforming me, transforming him and through my battle helping him. I watched and knew God was surely pleased with him. And because of that I know he earned his reward. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. We must take what Ralph went through and envy him for what he gained not pity him for what he lost. It is not the time spent on this earth that matters but in the end God gives us all a chance to accept him and gain the prize of eternity with Him. So as a year comes around …the first anniversary of the day we lost Ralphie, the man, I call all of you who read this to celebrate the spirit of Ralph that found eternity with Christ something we all could someday hope to have. Jesus said to his disciples: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Have faith in God and faith in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places; otherwise, how could I have told you that I was going to prepare a place for you? I am indeed going to prepare a place for you, and then I shall come back to take you with me, that where I am you also may be. You know the way that leads where I go." (John 14:1-4) Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you have known me, you will also know my Father. From now on you know him and have seen him.” (John 14:6-7) The bible tells us we all are given the same measure of faith but without works our faith is dead. Ralph was a man who took that measure of faith and put it to work and while he could have given up a long time sooner in the flesh…he gave the Word of God a chance and found power in it. While his flesh endured much suffering, at the same time because of that suffering, his spirit was awakened to another level. He fed his spirit the Word of God and it sustained him…the Holy Spirit that he read about, the Counselor that Jesus promised would come to us, came to Ralph and sustained him. Ralph fed his faith daily with God’s daily bread which is His Word and it showed itself strong. And as the flesh weekend the spirit grew more powerful. Powerful enough to face eternity with a peace we could not understand in the flesh…only in the spirit. Although Ralph rarely showed that there was fear in living with illness and leaving this world, there was peace and readiness to meet His Creator…that did not scare him. It was the reason he was able to let go. So the gift we could give back to Ralph is the gift of one day seeing him again. I encourage all those that read this to not only remember Ralph for the man he was but in honor of his spirit, ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart, to live and dwell in you. Pray for God's grace...so that your soul can live on in eternity, with Jesus, with others that have believed and gone before us and with Ralph. That would give Ralph and yourself the greatest gift. "For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God" - Romans 1:20 When we all were not ready, one day God took the man from us and claimed the spirit which was His anyway. We wanted to hang on to it but the spirit was ready to "go away" as Ralph put it. The last time I saw Ralph I read him a scripture, " DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU.” Isaiah 43:5. Even in his last days, he asked for prayer and knew His God had the power to intervene, he knew the power of God and that must have pleased God. God took Ralph out of his suffering not in the way we all would have planned but I guess that is why we are not God and we can't understand this in the flesh. Those who knew Ralph knew the man but those that witnessed him through his battle with cancer witnessed a supernatural power. Ralph called himself “Superman” because for a very long time it appeared he was winning the battle in the flesh but Ralph won the battle...he fought the good fight and kept the faith. Ralph knew that he himself could not sustain his mind through the battle but something greater than his flesh was stirred from within. We would talk sometimes on the phone but mostly by email. Ralph often talked to me in the spirit. It was not the cousin I knew speaking to me but something greater was going on something bigger than cancer more powerful than cancer something that had the power to sustain his spirit. I recognized that peace. That was the connection we had. And today I have a peace that many of us who knew Ralph share, the peace of knowing that Ralph got the prize, the crown, the joy for his sorrows, the beauty for ashes. Ralph wanted others to know this peace. He knew the Word of God had power, power to give and power to take away. And while God took his spirit we cannot hold on to the flesh or the bad memories. We have a duty to Ralph to hold on to the good memories of him the man, and to look to his life as an example to all of us...that life is so precious. It is temporary. How will you spend eternity? Choose life...as Ralph did...have a thirst for what Ralph learned. Don't wait until you are in the battle. I miss you Cousin Ralph. We all miss you. Thanks for teaching us one of the most valuable lessons in life. The things that really matter are those things that we carry with us throughout eternity. I find comfort today knowing that I hope to see you again and that you are spending your eternity in paradise. Cousin Lor